How to meet a person: what aspects should we look at?

How to meet a person: what aspects should we look at?

Although there is no magic formula to know if someone is trustworthy or not, personality psychology offers some guidelines about it. Thanks to them, we can get to know a person better and know if he deserves our trust. They are the following

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How to meet a person? How to know if it is reliable if it is worth starting a friendship with her or even more if she would be a good couple? Most of us understand that in relation to relationships, we are often almost forced to take a leap into the void. To glimpse the personality and values ​​of someone is something that we must discover over low heat and day by day.

We would love, no doubt, to have a kind of QR reader capable of deciphering whether that new co-worker will be an ally or a rival. Also, to know if those children who are friends of our children, will or will not be a good influence on them. It would be fascinating to know, in turn, if that person with whom we have a first date deserves our time and illusions.

Be that as it may, there is something undeniable: we are obliged to give an act of faith, to trust others and to get involved in that interesting process that is, after all, knowing someone. This craftsmanship, complex and full of uncertainties, is not exempt from certain beauty and emotion, which is something that is always worth doing.

However, yes, there are always guidelines that can guide us in that better understanding of human behavior and character. There are factors that have studied psychology and specifically, the field of personality, which can be very useful in these cases. Let's see them below.

“People will do anything, no matter how absurd, to avoid facing their own souls. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making darkness aware. ”

- Carl Jung

How to meet a person: aspects that we must take into account

Since Carl Jung wrote his work The Psychological Types in 1921, it has certainly been a long time. However, a good part of that legacy he left us is still useful, especially that theory were to understand that each person is at a point between introversion and extroversion.

That is perhaps the easiest aspect of identifying someone. Already only with its opening, with its way of relating or behaving, we intuit if whoever is in front of us is more reserved or if, on the contrary, it overflows that gift of people and effusivity so prototypical in the most classic extrovert.

However, to understand how to meet a person and better decipher what their character really is, we can address many more factors.

The three levels of Dan McAdams

Dan McAdams is a professor and director of the department of psychology at Northwestern University. If he is known for anything, it is for his interesting studies on personality, especially for his theory of the three levels of knowledge. This contribution can allow us to understand what someone is like through a series of aspects or phases.

The first phase, as we have indicated before, refers to the most general, evident and observable. We refer to those traits with which to detect if someone is more introverted, more outgoing, shy, cheeky, etc. We can obtain this type of information in a short time.

The second reference is placed in a more intimate plane. What worries that person? What seems to motivate you? What are your interests? What do you value? This level requires spending a little more time with that man or that woman. However, these data are decisive to discover what someone is like.

A third level to know how to meet a person is to see how he describes himself. The way he perceives himself (with good or bad self-esteem) or how he has built his own story as a person (I am someone whom nobody values ​​or I am someone who knows how to enjoy life) gives us very valuable information. We can intuit features such as narcissism, selfishness, possible defense mechanisms, etc.

How to meet a person according to the University of Wake Forest

The University of Wake Forest conducted a study in 2010 led by Dr. Dustin Whood. In it, we tried to identify what aspect could help us understand if someone is trustworthy or not.

Oddly enough, they identified a factor that was very significant. To meet a person, to identify even narcissistic traits or antisocial behavior, just look at how he treats others and especially how he perceives them.

According to this research, people who value others in a positive way, who always sees the good side of those around them or, even more, who does not fall for easy mockery, criticism or derogatory about who does not know, presents A healthier personality.

On the other hand, whoever labels, despises or always has an ironic and negative comment to talk about others, would show a darker and unreliable personality type.

To conclude, as we can see, to know how to meet a person and have a clue as to whether it is reliable or not, we require some time. A conversation is not enough, nor is it enough to see how they treat us if they are kind, funny or intelligent. Seeing how they behave and, especially, how they treat others, could certainly be a decisive factor.