The hard to know oneself

The hard to know oneself

To live free it is necessary to know oneself, and I do not mean name and surname, what I like to have breakfast or what I want or not to do. Rather, I mean those parts that cost us so much to look at and that hurt us so much when others commit the boldness of pointing them out.

What is it that hurts us so much? What do we resist? To envy, pride or cowardice. These are qualities that every human being possesses, that some deny and many others reject.

However, turning your face to what is part of us will not prevent you from being there. Knowing oneself is not easy, but not impossible.

Know yourself (Nosce te Ipsum, as it was in the Sanctuary of Apollo in Delphi) and you will know the whole Universe and the gods. You will know your lights and your shadows.

However, knowing oneself is the basis for developing all the human potential that we carry within our being. We are all different, however, we all have the ability to give the world something that others cannot. Know yourself and you will discover what it is.

"The greatest wisdom that exists is to know oneself."

-Galileo-.

In search of the approval of others

The difficult thing about knowing oneself is, therefore, encountering those parts that we reject. What to do with them? Consider, for example, those feelings of anger that sometimes invade us. It is important to observe that feeling and the situation that has caused it. Now is the time to make a decision, do we let that emotion out or repress it?

The usual thing is to repress the emotion, accumulating it and causing one day to leave without any control at the least opportune moment. This decision is made based on what others will think if they see us in that state of fury in which, most likely, we find ourselves listening to phrases of the style: "calm down", "is not so much" or "you have gone crazy ».

We can't stand the idea that others can reject us, blame us and bring out our fears and our shame. Thinking about how others will act if we express how we feel, causes us not to realize that this is part of ourselves.

We rationalize the situation from a superficial plane and ignore, completely, any emotion that could bring down that wall built with a pain that has been brewing over the years as a result of multiple disappointments.

To get to know oneself, the important thing is to ask yourself: could you love me despite allowing me to feel and express negative emotions or maybe fill me with guilt, shame, and fear? The answer will be very important because it will give us the keys to know how conditioned we are by others and how many things we allow ourselves to feel and express or not.

The freedom that comes from knowing oneself

In the way of knowing oneself, it is important to be aware of how and why we react to various stimuli. For this, when anger emerges and settles in our body, for example, it will be necessary to remain observing, without judging and without confronting this sensation.

In this way, we will realize the thoughts that emerge through our minds and how we behave. Surely, then, we feel urged to blame others for our behavior. However, this does not interest us, because what we want is to know ourselves, to discover ourselves.

We do not want to interpret the acts, but to explore ourselves. That way, we will realize the number of occasions in which that feeling is repeated and in what circumstances it does. We may feel very responsible, very resentful or even helpless. What does our internal dialogue tell us?

The deeper we are able to dig, the more lucidity and answers we will get. In this state of exploration, of knowing oneself, we can discover how entrenched our behaviors and habits are.

Often, we have learned to react like this since childhood whereas children we were we did not have enough skills to fulfill our desires and we needed others to do it for us.

"The hardest thing in the world is to know oneself and the easiest to speak ill of others."

-Tales of Miletus-.

Once we understand our way of reacting, as well as the fear and basic desire that is always behind that anger, it is easier to get out of that hitch. Today we are no longer children, we can take the reins of our lives, cover our needs ourselves, without waiting for others to do so.

Knowledge and freedom

In short, knowing oneself is essential in order to conquer our freedom, while we understand the meaning of our emotions, listening deeply, replacing our usual automatic reactions with conscious decisions, inspired by the intimate knowledge of what is actually happening to us.

To live free we need to know who we are, follow the path advised by our own essence. Knowing yourself is essential to start being happy from today.