Help your partner lose weight without damaging your relationship
Help your partner lose weight without damaging your relationship
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All couples have difficulty negotiating on matters of food and weight.
For example, maybe you are as fit as an athlete and you want your living partner lying on the couch to join you in a race once in a while.
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Or you are working on eating more nutritionally while your partner continues to eat snacks high in fat and sugar even though the doctor has warned you that you are on the verge of being diabetic.
These situations can produce feelings of stress, frustration, and helplessness, generating the wrong attitudes and behaviors necessary to motivate and support a change.
Knowing precisely how you can help who you love can make a big difference.
What you should do
1 -Humbly ask how you can help
Humans are curious creatures. We often give people what we want instead of asking them what can be useful for them.
It's okay to be straightforward with a question - as long as you bring up the topic of eating sweets with tact, sincerity, humility, compassion, and curiosity.
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Tell him that you want to make sure you're helping and ask him to alert you if it isn't.
Be open about taking directions regarding what you think and what will work for him and check with him often about what you are doing.
2- Focus on yourself
I have known cases where a member of the couple is at a healthy weight but feels so uncomfortable about what ends up eating more than their unhealthy partner and gaining pounds.
Even though it may make you feel uncomfortable that you - or your husband - be a "normal" eater and be fit and he isn't, don't use that as an excuse to surrender to unhealthy habits.
Do what is right for you and set the example (without showing off).
3 -Be aware of implicit problems
Many people with eating problems suffer from depression or anxiety and take better care of their bodies when their mood is balanced.
Look for signs of depression: isolation, irritability, bad daily habits of life, difficulty sleeping, hopelessness, lack of interest in activities that previously aroused interest.
If you recognize symptoms of depression or excessive anxiety, your partner may be using food to deal with them and may need a psychological evaluation.
In this case, again, mention the subject gently and with compassion.
4 -Emphasize the positive
In that society with fatphobia, people who are heavy tend to forget their wonderful attributes because thinness is ridiculously and arbitrarily considered as something of high esteem.
Remind your partner that he is more than a body and help him focus on what you love about him - his creativity, sensitivity, sense of humor or ethics.
What you must not do
5 -Don't constantly scold
Think about how you feel when someone is over you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week reminding you of your bad habits.
If you are like most of us, you accumulate resentment and say it at any time, even when you recognize that the suggestions or advice you say are certainly in your best interest.
Scolding creates distance between you and the person you love, which is the least you want to do when you are trying to become your ally to promote change.
6 -Do not blame or embarrass
Embarrassing your husband for his bad eating habits or avoiding exercise will not take you anywhere.
Maybe you have been raised with criticism and humiliation as a motivator and think that works, you think being hard on yourself makes you succeed.
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Even TV shows have fallen for the act of trying to embarrass people to become healthy and more active eaters.
To embarrass someone is to hurt him intentionally.
Believe in me, overweight people already feel bad enough that they cannot handle their food intake well or that they are not in good shape.
And blame him - tell your beloved, "If you don't do this and do this in your place, you'll be thinner." Think: How do you feel when you are blamed for your mistakes?
I bet the answer is so guilty and ashamed that you don't want to talk about it because it's too painful to even contemplate.
7-Do is not put yourself as a role model
When you are practicing healthy eating habits and are at a comfortable weight, you may be inclined to try to inspire your partner to be more like you as a way of saying, "Look, if I can do it, you can too."
However, this strategy often fails for a simple reason: You are you, and he is him.
We all have different stories, biochemistry, and ways of coping.
I have no doubt that your partner has strengths and abilities that you lack and that there are areas of life that your partner manages much better than you.
Food and exercise can be your vulnerable area, so don't compare your strength against your weaknesses.
Best Weight Loss Product -Click Here
All couples have difficulty negotiating on matters of food and weight.
For example, maybe you are as fit as an athlete and you want your living partner lying on the couch to join you in a race once in a while.
[Win Sweepstakes a Month $1000 CVS Giftcard -Click Here]
Or you are working on eating more nutritionally while your partner continues to eat snacks high in fat and sugar even though the doctor has warned you that you are on the verge of being diabetic.
These situations can produce feelings of stress, frustration, and helplessness, generating the wrong attitudes and behaviors necessary to motivate and support a change.
Knowing precisely how you can help who you love can make a big difference.
What you should do
1 -Humbly ask how you can help
Humans are curious creatures. We often give people what we want instead of asking them what can be useful for them.
It's okay to be straightforward with a question - as long as you bring up the topic of eating sweets with tact, sincerity, humility, compassion, and curiosity.
Best Weight Loss Product -Here
Tell him that you want to make sure you're helping and ask him to alert you if it isn't.
Be open about taking directions regarding what you think and what will work for him and check with him often about what you are doing.
2- Focus on yourself
I have known cases where a member of the couple is at a healthy weight but feels so uncomfortable about what ends up eating more than their unhealthy partner and gaining pounds.
Even though it may make you feel uncomfortable that you - or your husband - be a "normal" eater and be fit and he isn't, don't use that as an excuse to surrender to unhealthy habits.
Do what is right for you and set the example (without showing off).
3 -Be aware of implicit problems
Many people with eating problems suffer from depression or anxiety and take better care of their bodies when their mood is balanced.
Look for signs of depression: isolation, irritability, bad daily habits of life, difficulty sleeping, hopelessness, lack of interest in activities that previously aroused interest.
If you recognize symptoms of depression or excessive anxiety, your partner may be using food to deal with them and may need a psychological evaluation.
In this case, again, mention the subject gently and with compassion.
4 -Emphasize the positive
In that society with fatphobia, people who are heavy tend to forget their wonderful attributes because thinness is ridiculously and arbitrarily considered as something of high esteem.
Remind your partner that he is more than a body and help him focus on what you love about him - his creativity, sensitivity, sense of humor or ethics.
What you must not do
5 -Don't constantly scold
Think about how you feel when someone is over you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week reminding you of your bad habits.
If you are like most of us, you accumulate resentment and say it at any time, even when you recognize that the suggestions or advice you say are certainly in your best interest.
Scolding creates distance between you and the person you love, which is the least you want to do when you are trying to become your ally to promote change.
6 -Do not blame or embarrass
Embarrassing your husband for his bad eating habits or avoiding exercise will not take you anywhere.
Maybe you have been raised with criticism and humiliation as a motivator and think that works, you think being hard on yourself makes you succeed.
Best Weight Loss Product -Here
Even TV shows have fallen for the act of trying to embarrass people to become healthy and more active eaters.
To embarrass someone is to hurt him intentionally.
Believe in me, overweight people already feel bad enough that they cannot handle their food intake well or that they are not in good shape.
And blame him - tell your beloved, "If you don't do this and do this in your place, you'll be thinner." Think: How do you feel when you are blamed for your mistakes?
I bet the answer is so guilty and ashamed that you don't want to talk about it because it's too painful to even contemplate.
7-Do is not put yourself as a role model
When you are practicing healthy eating habits and are at a comfortable weight, you may be inclined to try to inspire your partner to be more like you as a way of saying, "Look, if I can do it, you can too."
However, this strategy often fails for a simple reason: You are you, and he is him.
We all have different stories, biochemistry, and ways of coping.
I have no doubt that your partner has strengths and abilities that you lack and that there are areas of life that your partner manages much better than you.
Food and exercise can be your vulnerable area, so don't compare your strength against your weaknesses.
Win Sweepstakes a Month $1000 CVS Giftcard - Click Here |
Help your partner lose weight without damaging your relationship
Reviewed by ..
on
January 27, 2020
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Reviewed by ..
on
January 27, 2020
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